A Puttering Start

I am lying here looking out of the windows. It is mid April. It is cold. It was 36 degrees this morning.

What is that about?

April in South Carolina is supposed to be warm.

It seems that this winter, the world has not known what it wanted to do. Weather wise it has been a bouncing ball. We saw some of the coldest weather that I can ever remember.

Thirteen degrees?
In January?
In the south?
No way.
Yes, way.
It happened.

Then we bounced. A pretty day. A cold day. It puttered. Winter returned. It just never seemed to know that it should get warm and stay that way. I thought when we finally began to see some flowers in late February that we had gotten to our spring.

But no! Here came winter again. It would get cold and stay cold. Then we would have a one day tease. A seventy degree day and we just knew that it would start climbing and we would have winter behind us.

But then, at 36 degrees and lots of cold wind, I decided that winter just didn’t want to leave us. I am not sure why, but it just can’t get enough traction to make it over the hump.

It is like you are driving a car on ice and you try to get up the hill, but you just can’t make it and you slide back down to have another go of it.

I feel that way about my life. One day I feel that I have made it over the top of the sadness. I feel that I have conquered that loneliness. I have finally dealt with the issues and am moving on. I have made it to the top of the hill and can see over the top.

Then I hear a song or I read a particular scripture and I am just like the weather; sliding back into that sadness. It feels like a roller coaster; up and down. I become like the winter, quiet, isolated, not wanting to be with others and ready to ball up in a knot and let the world go by. I am gloomy, grey and have clouds hanging over my head.

I am sure as people look at me they see a chilly breeze floating around me and they feel that they need to put on their coats because I am like a cold front that has assaulted the good feelings of others. It is as uncomfortable as the wind blowing on a cold day.

Then, just like the weather, I will perk up, show my smile and want to be motivated to get out there and start over again. I feel like a seventy degree day and full of sunshine. I am boosted to pop out like the spring flowers and blossom like the buds on the trees.

It is truly a slip and slide position. I think I will blame it on the weather. If it cannot make up its mind, why should I? Maybe if the weather would get its act together and move on into a permanent solution of warm, I would follow suit and move right on into a constant sunny disposition.

Until then, I guess I will be up and down. But I will try to keep my downs to myself and only show my ups. Wish the weather would do that. I wish to see only the warm sunny days with no wind and lots of pretty flowers. I bet you would like that also.

Psalm 30:11:12 You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.

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